Kenya 2009 - Part 11

A Mini Update

Sorry, it’s been awhile since you got an update from me.

The past month and a half has been crazy…some in good, some not so good. It’s been an emotional year for me, ranging from amazing highs to horrible lows. I’ve had moments and time when I could sit down and just write but the words that are in my head, just can’t seem to get on the computer.

If you follow the TI webpage, you will see that September was a really busy month for us. We had Sandy’s team of five women,Hope 2 Kenya (www.hope2kenya.org), here with us for about two and a half weeks. The TI staff and interns got to be a part of three medical clinics and 2 food distributions. It was incredible to be able to be a part of it and see everyone come together and work and serve for the better of the beautiful Kenyan people. The team also did a medical clinic and food distribution in the Kibera slums; the most famous slum in the world, located in Nairobi, Kenya.

During the time that the Hope 2 Kenya team was here, we had 21 people living on the compound. It was pretty insane at times and the adventure of running out of water on the compound for showers, cooking and cleaning was on the horizon at times but thankfully God provided the water (either through rain or the city finally pumping it) when we were down to a few litres left.

I’m so thankful for the Hope 2 Kenya team coming here and for all the amazing work they did and for including us in it. What a wonderful group of ladies they were.

We are now back to 16 people in the compound. At times I miss the quiet, the freedom to do things or not do things around the house but I really enjoy the community; I enjoy the friendship/relationship building. I enjoy the morning devotions of deep discussions, I enjoy the laughing and I enjoy cooking for 16 people (and also because there are16 people in the house, I don’t have to do most of the cooking anymore!).  This year’s group of people is wonderful and I honestly adore each and every one of them. I too am thankful for them; what a gift they have been to me and my life right now.

On a different note, Sean and I are coming to Canada a little earlier than expected now. We had originally thought we would be back around the end of January 2010 but we’ve decided that we want to come back earlier. So we’re in the process of having our tickets changed for the beginning of December. The exact date isn’t known yet; we’re waiting to hear back from the travel agent but we’ll definitely keep people posted.

We’ve decided to come back to Canada for three months, to rest and relax and spend time with family and friends over a lengthened period of time, rather than rushing all the visits into a short span as that can be extremely exhausting for us. And for those inquiring minds, no, we’re not pregnant and that’s not why we’re coming back to Canada early.

So hopefully at some point during our stay in Canada, we’ll get to see some of you.

Love you all!
Meredith

Thoughts From Meredith

Being Content in the Present

I’m an organizer, not an obsessive one, but an organizer nonetheless. If I could, I would have my life planned out to the tee. I did try that once, planning my life. I said I would be married by such and such age; have my 2.4 kids by this age; live in this city and have this kind of house…and so on and so on.

And guess what?

It didn’t happen. And what happened with me?

I was pissed; I was hurt; I was frustrated and I was devastated.

Why? Why would I put myself through that?

Was I not happy with where I was at that time so I figured it was better to fantasize about the future? If I couldn’t have control over the present time, perhaps I could have control over the future.

But in reality, I don’t have any more control over the future as I do the present. I don’t know what the future holds so why spend so much time and effort on it when I can be where I’m at today.

It’s difficult to be content in the present when there is so much that I desire that I still don’t have. But then I look at where I’ve come from, the man I married, the place I live, the work I am doing and I realize I couldn’t have planned it all to happen this way, even if I wanted to.

It’s far less stressful to be in the present, loving where I’m at now, who I am now, what I’m doing now and who I’m with now. I choose to enjoy the moments of today and look forward to the moments of tomorrow. But not soak in tomorrow or over organize tomorrow.

I like what God is doing today and I will trust what He will do tomorrow. Why should I figure it all out when He already has?

Enjoy your today everyone!

Kenya 2009 - Part 10

Martin And A Football

Martin, our five year old (or even six), who has the body of a three year old, in one day had HIV, pneumonia, chicken pox, meningitis and tuberculosis running through him. And he is still alive. This in itself is a complete gift from God.

Today, after six days in the hospital, Martin was discharged. He still has a ways to go but he looks 110% better than what he did when he was going in to the hospital.

He is staying with us for a few days. Since we are only a few minutes from the hospital, if there are any emergencies that come up in the next day or two, we are only a short ride away back to the hospital. And of course, we felt that it would be best for him to stay with us to get some complete spoiling of love and attention. :-)

This afternoon, Daniel was standing by the veranda door, looking outside. He called my name and told me to come and look. [Uncle] Sean had taken Martin outside to play. There was Martin, whom was on way to death, kicking around a football with Sean…a huge smile on his face the whole time. And as Daniel said, “This is why we are here!”

Thank you everyone for your prayers, for your encouraging words and your support. It has truly meant a lot to us.

Much love!!

xoxoxo

Martin....hanging out in the grass.

Martin and his football...

Getting the well deserved and needed rest...

Kenya 2009 - Part 9

Our Little Strong Martin

Wow!!! What a past few days this has been.

As you all know due to the prayer request and blog update that our little weak Martin was admitted in to the hospital on Thursday. At the time of this news, I was with the women from the PA team at our Neema girl’s house. We came together and prayed for Martin.

On Thursday evening, Nicole and I went to the hospital for a few hours, laying our hands on Martin, praying for healing. While Nicole and I were at the hospital, the rest of the team stayed back and prayed for him.

On Friday afternoon, we heard that his condition had not changed. Most of the team was outside in the yard, getting ready to play football (aka soccer for you North Americans) and before the game started, they got down in the grass, on their knees and prayed for Martin. I put in the Hillsong CD, This Is Our God, and played the song “Healer” a few times, praying and claiming the words the song said for Martin.

Over the past few days, our friends and family back in North America have stepped up in prayer over Martin as well.

And this is the text message we got from Anne, just an hour ago…

“Praise the Lord! He can talk and walk and he has gained appetite. I am excited.”

Yes! Praise be to the Lord! For He has heard our prayers and has answered them. He is our Healer, our Comforter and that has been so incredibly evident this past week.

We continue to pray for Martin; for complete health.

We also want to thank EVERYONE for your support and prayers. For when two or more are gathered in His name, there He is.

We love you all!

Meredith

Healer – Hillsong

You hold my every moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

And HEAL ALL MY DISEASE

I trust in You

I trust in You

I believe that You’re my Healer

I believe that You are all I need

I believe that You’re my Portion

I believe that You’re more than enough for me

Jesus, You’re ALL I NEED

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

Kenya 2009 - Part 8

Not Saying Goodbye, Rather “See you in a little while”

I remember when my grandmother died on February 3^rd, 1998. I remember the pain that ripped through my heart. I remember going to the funeral home and seeing her lifeless body there. I remember that no one could console me. I was devastated with her death; the one woman who knew me better than anyone, whom I had a bond with so strong…I couldn’t imagine her not being a part of my life. I couldn’t imagine her not being in her rocking chair ever again; I couldn’t imagine another Christmas without her. A part of me changed that day…a part of me went missing.

On Tuesday, July 14^th, in the afternoon, we got the devastating news that our sweet nine year old Veronica passed away. She was HIV positive and had contracted chicken pox. The chicken pox were just too strong for her weak immune system.

As I was given the news of Veronica’s death, the same pain ripped through my heart as it did when my grandmother died. As I attended the funeral of Veronica, seeing her lifeless body with her beautiful innocent face, looking as if she were only sleeping, the only thing that could console the unbelievable ache that I was feeling, was consoling one of our other children.

Veronica was nine; my grandmother was in her sixties. My grandmother experienced most of her life; she got married, had children and even knew most of her grandchildren. Veronica will never know of marriage; she will never hold her own child; she will never have grandchildren.

But what both Veronica and my grandmother do know is the love of Christ. They know His face; they know His love.

We are left here on this earth, in sadness, trying to answer the questions, trying to mend our broken hearts, trying to not miss Veronica and the beautiful, spunky and loving spirit she brought in to our lives.

The only thing that I can hold on to is the picture of Veronica, healthy of any disease and pain, dancing around, singing loudly….perhaps with my grandmother….hanging out with Jesus.

I won’t say goodbye to Veronica, instead I say, “See you in a little while!” And then we can dance and sing and hang out with Jesus, together.

Kenya 2009 - Part 7

Is Paul Right?

A few girls came by to visit us the other night. One of the girls had been in Kenya in 2007 so she knew Daniel and me from back then and had wanted to visit with us.

Anyway, the 3 girls, ages 17, 19 and 21, and I went in to our sitting room and they started asking me about married life, relationship questions, God questions, etc. and I found as we talked, I was getting energized. It could have been the fact that I was having really nice and needed female to female conversation with these girls but when we started talking about incorporating God in to our relations, etc, it was more than just that.

After they had left, Sean, Daniel and I were having dinner together and they both commented that they could see a spark in me when I was talking to those girls. Any question that were asked of me, I didn’t laugh at the silliness of it or rebuke it, but honestly listened and answered appropriately, I even shared with the girls, the struggles of being overly independent in today’s world as a woman and how it has been a bit of an issue for Sean and I; because at times he wants to serve me as his wife and I won’t let him…because I can “do it myself.” I gave them food for thought; I made myself vulnerable and real to them and that allowed them to feel that they could do the same with me and they too shared things with me and it was great! I LOVED it!

And why did I love it? Because I think it stems to the role that women are to carry out - as stated to Titus by Paul in the Bible. It says how the older women are to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to too much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2: 3-5)

I read a book given to me last year by a friend, in preparation for getting married. The book is called, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessigner. It’s surprising how many people know her and I had never heard of her until this book. Dr. Laura is a very out-spoken person and I have found that people either hate her or love her. I, after reading this book, LOVE her.

In her book, she talks about how we as women have emasculated our men over the years. The major cause: we’ve become so independent that we tell our boyfriends, our husbands, our lovers that in reality, we don’t really need them. So why are they there? To give us children? To fit the status of being married? To snarl at when we’re pms’ing? To fill our physical desires?

Dr. Laura believes “it’s a result of the women’s movement, with its condemnation of just about everything male as evil, stupid, and oppressive, and the denigration of female and male roles in families, as a well as the loss of family functioning as a result of divorce, day care, dual careers, etc….The result is women get married thinking largely about what their marriage and their man can do for them, and not what they can do for their men.”

Men are simple creatures, who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration and approval from a woman, it makes them vulnerable to their woman’s moods, desires, tantrums, criticism, disappointments, dissatisfactions, angers and rejections. Women need to better appreciate the magnitude of their power and influence over men, and not misuse or abuse it.”

It’s been interesting to have been single for so long and have married friends around me over the years. I have been able to sit back and watch how the couples interact and the on-going joke of “who wears the pants in the family!”

One of the many things that I have noticed to be common in many of the marriages is the “it’s my way or the highway” mentality that women get. Here’s a common scenario:

It’s Saturday morning and the wife complains that the house is dirty and it needs to be cleaned. She mumbles how she always has to clean the house by herself, etc. The husband asks if he can help, wanting to remove some of the burden off his wife (and not deal with her crabbiness or mumbling about it for the rest of the weekend). The wife asks him to help by vacuum the house, or clean the kitchen or whatever room. So the husband goes and does it. A little while later, the wife comes along and says things like, “You missed a spot,” or “It’s not clean enough,” or etc. Instead of thanking him for helping, we say, “It’s not good enough!” or “Why did you do it THAT way?” Do you think the next time you want him to help you clean something; he’s going to want to do it?

Dr. Laura says: “Wives need to remind themselves that when their husbands do something differently from how they would do it themselves; it does not constitute a breach of sanity or a display of contempt. It is merely a DIFFERENT way to do something.” So look at it that way.

Also: “In the real world of humans, women have a unique urge toward bonding and nesting and nurturing. Men have a unique urge toward protecting, providing and conquering….Men are doers; simple, straight-line types. The reason they have a tendency to rescue damsels in distress is because of their need to be admired for their chivalry.”

So why don’t we let them? Why don’t we let them be the man that God created them to be? We women watch the chick flicks and saw, “Awweeeee…” when the guy says something beautiful and romantic to the girl. We watched the Disney films when we were younger and wanted a Prince Charming to slay the dragon and gave us such a kiss that it would wake us up from a coma.

We wanted our heroes so why don’t we let them be our heroes?

Last week, Sean and Daniel were outside having some guy time and I was in the house, getting ready for bed. I pulled the “decorative pillows” (some of you ladies know what I mean!) off the bed, when I saw a gecko on MY pillow. It scared me at first and so I let out a scream. The scream of a woman “awoke” Sean and Daniel.

Now if I had been alone that night, I probably would’ve dealt with it myself (as I did in 2007 with a giant rat in my bedroom with the help of one of rat-phobic female intern) but the fact that I had Sean, my husband, who I know would love to “protect” me from the evil gecko, I text messaged Sean to come and get this gecko for me. And when he got it out of the bedroom, I thanked him for getting rid of it for me. And it made him happy to know that I needed him.

Women aren’t weak, that’s not what I’m saying. But what I am saying is that we need to realize that men were created different than us and their uniqueness, their needs, their desires should be just as important and in the forefront as our own.

It’s difficult wanting to be the wife that I am supposed to be and not the wife/woman that the world has taken in and accepted. I don’t want to be the head of the household. I want to submit to my husband.

Paul is writing to the church, in Ephesians 5. You know, the famous and often disputed section on “wives and husbands” and how it talks about wives submitting to their husbands? Many women loathe the word submit, thinking it means that they become the doormat for their husbands. That’s not what it means at all. Sometimes we forget what the rest of the section says.

Here’s the husband’s responsibility: “Husbands, love your wives, just as CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkly or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

Wow….what a responsibility! Our husbands are told to love us like Christ loved the church. Christ died for us, He sacrificed himself for us. And that is what a husband is to do for his wife…to love her unconditionally, as Christ loves us. Where do the husbands even begin to love like that?

If we know Christ and love Christ…we submit and surrender ourselves to Him. If we know our husbands well and their relationships with God and know how much our husbands are desiring to be like Christ…then submitting, surrendering ourselves to our husbands should be just as understandable and desirable to do.

Yeah, I know I’m not an expert at the marriage (and children) advice (only being married for 4 months and not having any children yet) but going back to the beginning of my story…helping these young women (and hopefully other young women in the future), by sharing my experiences in my younger years, in mine and Sean’s engagement time and in to the few months of marriage, revived me. Sharing with them that although Sean and I don’t have any major issues, there were still minor struggles during the engagement and early marriage due to my way of thinking on things. It was wonderful…doing what we women are really designed to do, submitting to our husbands and mentoring/training the younger women…I felt fulfilled and refreshed after doing it.

So what’s the answer to my blog question: Is Paul Right???? Hmmm…..imagine that? Paul, through his obedience and relationship with God, actually knew what he was talking about.

Kenya 2009 - Part 6

Not My Strength

I woke up this morning to Sean saying, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” We have adapted a great routine of getting up early (between 5:30-6:00) in the morning to spend time in the Word together and pray together. It’s a great way to start the day.

We laid in bed for a few minutes and I told Sean the dream that I had just had. Here it is (in italics):

I was walking along a big beautiful river. The current was fairly strong on it. There was the path that I was walking along one side of the river, with trees overhanging the path. The other side of the river too, was covered in trees. There were flower bushes with so many different types of flowers…the colors of the flowers, the scent of the flowers, the songs of the birds..all of it was so peaceful, fresh.

I looked up to see this bird circling a spot in the river…it was searching for that perfect section for fish. And then finally it dove, a straight dive for the water. Under it went, for what seemed like forever. I jumped as it burst through from under the water in to the air, with a fish in its beak.

I loved it. I was fascinated by it. I wanted to be like this bird. So I took of my sandals and with my clothes on, I dove in to the water. It was cool, so refreshing. The current was strong, stronger than I thought. But for a moment, I didn’t worry. I looked above my head and there again was the bird, circling the water, finding its food. And then it dove. Only a few feet from where I was. Again, it seemed like forever that the bird was under water and then I jumped. The bird bursted out of the water, splashing me. It was that close to me. I laughed out loud in complete delight. And again two more times, the bird dove and bursted out of the water. And each time, I laughed out loud.

But then I realized how strong the current really was and how far it had dragged me downstream. I began to get worried. I started to swim with all my might to the edge of the river, to grab a hold of something, anything to get out of the water.

And then Sean said, “Wake up babe. It’s time to get up.” It was only a dream.

After I told Sean the dream, we laid there for a moment in silence. I was replaying the dream over and over again. And then it brought me back to a day in late September or early October of 2005, when I was here in Kenya.

A family member of a friend was going through some extremely difficult times. The family member, who was in Canada, was battling with some addictions. So we as a group of friends, in Kenya, gathered around one morning and began to pray for this guy. As we were praying and sharing Bible verses of God’s promises, I was given a vision of this guy. The vision was this (the guy’s name has been changed):

I saw Ben in a big rushing river. He was being banged around by the waves and rush of the current. He was pulled under water, smacked against rocks. But every time Ben managed to come up for air, there was always a strong tree branch extending over the river. Ben would try to grab the branch but he would miss it or give up trying to reach for it. He would then be dragged back under the water and again smacked against the rocks.

Ben became so exhausted; he was broken and bruised, the current and waves were just too strong for him. He was sucked under the water again and when he finally came up; there was another tree branch in front of him and he reached, reached. The branch bent down just a little bit more so that Ben could grab it…and the branch pulled him out of the deadly water.

As I shared the vision with the others in the room, we saw it clearly. The addictions, the sadness, the helplessness was drowning Ben, breaking him, bruising him and God was giving out His hand (the branch) saying, “I will rescue you.”

I shared this with Sean this morning…and as I was telling Sean about the vision I had in 2005, God said to me:

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”

I’m not battling addictions or depressions so don’t be alarmed on that. But what I do battle is the feeling that I can’t be the complete woman that God intended for me to be, that I can’t save every malnourished child in this country, that I can’t wipe out the AIDs that has entered the bodies of so many people, including some of our very own children.

And so I read Philippians 4…as I do in times like this. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (vs.6-7). I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. For I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. (vs. 11-13)

Again…

“Meredith, you are stronger than the current because you have Me.”